We all knew this day would come, but I didn't expect it would come so quickly. That's right, today marks the first edition in a 3,767 part series entitled "Ned Colletti is an Idiot " (expected to be completed in a week and a half). Today, the brilliant Dr. Colletti declared to the world something shocking and completely unknown to the rest of mankind: CC Sabathia, a native of California, would like to play in California. Shocking link below:
http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3755609
Easily the best part comes when it is revealed that:
Dodgers general manager Ned Colletti told ESPN.com's Jayson Stark on Monday that he ran into the free agent on Sunday night in a hotel lobby and the left-hander told him that he wants to be a Dodger.
Did it really take this man, who replaced a Harvard graduate, has been said by several morons to be Executive of the Year, and is entrusted with the well-being of a multi-million dollar organization a chance meeting with CC Sabathia to realize that the top free agent pitcher on the market would like to play in the state he grew up in? This is particularly shocking since I, and everyone else I know, was well aware of this fact. I can't believe this is even true. I bet the Onion wrote this. Here are some other things that I would bet Ned Colletti recently unearthed:
ATM Machines
His car has a cassette tape player
Cassette tapes
Hotel Lobbies
Chapter books without pictures
Sweatshirts
The tooth fairy is ficticious
He is the general manager of a baseball team
How to protect self from the SARS epidemic
How to operate a vending machine
Refrigeration
Key rings
Alright, I think I have probably exceeded the smug limit for a single post, so I'm going to go calm down and pretend I have a life outside of reading and writing about baseball.
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ReplyDeleteThis truly is shocking. I also loved this gem from Colletti:
ReplyDelete"It's a possibility," Colletti said Monday. "It's an interesting dynamic with anybody who is long term at a salary that's higher than most. When you're talking about a player who is long term, it's going to change the dynamic of your team in some way."
Oh thats how signing players to high paying long-term contracts works? Because I was under the impression that signing Mark Loretta to 1 year deal for $400,000 and signing CC for 6 years at $120,000,000 would work out the same in the end. Glad it's cleared up for me, that's a load off my mind.