Brewers on Deck, A Vision

This past week witnessed two reminders that Milwaukee is still in love with their Brewers. As most of our Brewers brethren are aware, the Brewers hosted their "Winter Warm-Up" last Friday at the Riverside Theater, and then invited fans back on Saturday for the "Brewers on Deck" gathering at the Midwest Airlines Center. According to Jabo's beloved Michael Hunt, 12,911 paid to experience the two day revival of Brewers fanaticism...a feat jaboutside.com matches daily but who's counting...It wasn't long ago that the Brewers were drawing 13,000 for games. Where have you gone John Vander Wal?

Unfortunately I was unable to make it back for the festivities, choosing to focus my energy on reaching "Pro" status in Wii boxing. (Watch out for the butch chick boxers, very low center of gravity). In the wake of Captain's poetic brilliance, and with the help of several Pizza Beers, I imagined my own Brewers On-Deck events emceed by Brooks Kieschnick (who is celebrating his 3rd Anniversary of Announcing his retirement on Feb. 15 by the way). They are as follows.

The Comedy Stylings of Doug Melvin: Is everyone from Canada funny? Dana Carvey, Mike Myers, Will Arnett, Doug Melvin. When he proposed the Brewers replace CC Sabathia with Mark Tauscher, I lost it. An absolute riot.

Cage Match - Prince Fielder vs. Manny Parra: I think everyone wants closure to that rumble. Of course, right when Manny is about to get pinned, Craig Counsell will jump from under the ring, and break it up only to start his own feud with Prince. Eat your heart out Vince McMahon.

Mike Cameron Interactive Instructional Presentation: What I learned from getting caught. Basically, kids can learn from Mike's mistakes for future pursuits of gold gloves and homers.


Corey Hart: Hot or Not?
I imagine this debate raging for hours, Dunder-Mifflin style.





Seth McClung Poetry Jam: Any poem, or Jabo haiku, will do really, but in my mind's eye I see him pontificating 'Lil Wayne lyrics to bongo beats.

Ryan Braun Interview Exhibit: How Long Can He Speak Without Saying Anything?...I love Brauny, I really do. When he first came up I found his style a little obnoxious (and I couldn't understand how girls found him attractive), but as we all know, he just wanted to win. Now, I find his ability to answer questions without providing any new information fascinating and prodigious. If we could also arrange a reading from the Torah that would be great.

Visitations from Recent Brewers History:
- Salomon Torres Inspirational Speaking
- Matt Wise Imitating Derrick Turnbow, while also playing T-Bow in a chess match
- Reuben Qveudo stretching and running in the outfield before pitching
- Ben Sheets giving book reports on The Boxcar Children series


Alright. Enough fun. Go watch last night's Real World, its what Chuck Klosterman would do.